can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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