Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
