god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
