Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
