for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
