I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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