The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
