I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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