My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
