guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
