sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
