Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
