I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
