I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
