he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
