Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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