How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
