How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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