Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
