I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
