so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
