dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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