That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This house was built for laser tag.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
