She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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