I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Can I color on your dick again?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
