Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can't turn off my feet"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
