So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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