i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
