It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
