You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
don't judge my taste in strippers
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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