It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
