I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
