hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just googled if crying burns calories
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
