this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
