Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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