Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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