So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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