i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
