It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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