Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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