You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
