That's intense
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
