Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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