People in love make me want to vomit
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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