all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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