And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
