I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
