gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
