i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
