we're blogging at a bar
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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