Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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