she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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