Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
